Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Halachic Precedence

Sari (3) does whatever she wants. That's the way it is. Especially with Dovid (husband -32) because he doesn't have the willpower to stand up to her. She's difficult to bribe and there's not much you could do to her that she wouldn't just take in stride. In fact, sometimes when she misbehaves, she'll announce "I'm going into time out" and march off contentedly to her room to curl up in the big yellow rocking chair.

One of the things she routinely gets away with is sleeping in Dovid's bed. The truth is, for me, it's much easier this way. She goes to sleep without complaining and falls asleep quickly. The alternative is that she plays around in her bed, keeps Mordechai up with her chatting, and sometimes (horrors!) wakes up Ada (1). When Dovid's ready for bed, he transfers Sari to her own bed. Works fine for me. Not so, understandably, for Mordechai (6). He explained his side of the argument to Dovid tonight as I eavesdropped from the other room, writing furiously. The transcript follows:

Dad, do you remember by Parshas Toldos there was Esav and Yaakov? And remember Esav was the oldest so he was supposed to get the better thing? Well, I'm older than Sari so I'm supposed to get the better thing.

cross-posted at May Cuties

6 comments:

Kiwi the Geek said...

No, see, ya gotta make time out in the most boring corner of the house, and the kid has to sit on the floor and face the corner, and isn't allowed to talk or watch what others in the family are doing, and of course she has to stay there a minute for each year of age, and if that doesn't faze her, then I don't know what. Maybe double the time?

Ralphie said...

Perhaps Mordechai should read to the end of that story...

Essie said...

Very perceptive little guy you got there. At least he's bringing Torah examples ;)

Ayelet said...

Let me tell you, Dovid was beaming with pride!

Ayelet said...

Kiwi- problem is, I can't necessarily take out the 3 minutes to make sure she is staying in the proper time out position. I'm usually occupied with some worthy task like cooking, playing with the other kids, preventing Ada from being tortured, blogging (JK!), etc.. And wouldn't it defeat the purpose to focus all my attention on her during the time out? I admit, it's definitely a dilemma. I will say, though, that the time out sessions do serve a purpose in that it gives her a chance to cool off and gives me a chance to discuss the situation with her brother and talk about what he could have done to prevent the situation from escalating or a chance to soothe Ada, if she was the victim.

Kiwi the Geek said...

Some tips, FWTW.

Time out can be in the same room, or depending on Mordechai & Sari's relationship, he might effectively serve as the time-out police.

For Sweetie, the minimal attention of, "If you talk I'm restarting the timer" isn't very satisfying. She decided pretty quickly that it was best to just cooperate. Sari sounds like she may require more creativity.

Somehow you got Sari to cooperate with naughty > time out > yellow chair. You could explain a new system to her, and get her used to it, so that it would become just as easy as the current policy. Use a timer so she knows when the time out is over.