Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Son's 5th Birthday

February 1st my son turns five years old. David said, "So you're going to have a birthday on Friday? How old are you going to be?"
"Sive" KJ said, "I'm going to be old"
I said, "Five isn't old sweetie."
He looked at me and seriously asked, "It isn't?" He already feels old. ;)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


My youngest has unintentionally, unwittingly coined a new word: "Shan"

Some weeks ago, I thought I was hearing things. "Eema, shan I finish my homework now?" "Abba, shan I give Max his supper?"

When I first asked, "What did you say, Noam?" he repeated it again. And again. And again.
It began to grow on us, even though it's absolutely wrong. I don't correct him too much on it anymore simply because I like to hear him use the word.

"Shan": another word for "should"; derived from "shall" and "can".

Not that old yet...

I recently had a birthday. Tikvah, my 4 year old, asked me how old I was now. I told her I just turned 38 years old. She looked at me in awe. Then she asked in a quiet voice, "Does that mean you are going to die soon?"

Oy, thanks for the vote of encouragement! (and I pointed out that all 4 of her grandparents were older than me, and they were all still very much alive, ptu, ptu, ptu [sorry, too much Treppenwitz])

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Ebay, Look Out!

My youngest, who will turn 8, G-d willing in a couple of months, went through his POKEMON cards phase. "Abba, can we buy a pack after school?" "Eema, I promise this will be the last time I ask you for a pack." How many times did we hear that refrain?

Yes, we bought him a limit. We bought him a collector tin and special cards that went with it.

These cards were traded back and forth between friends, but my kid (not always so wise) would even trade some of his new, crisp cards for dog-eared, weathered-looking other cards. We tried to teach him how to do a wise trade, but he's his own man.

Perhaps shul isn't the place for the POKEMON cards, so what did the kid do? He put his cards in a Torah Cards collectors portfolio. We would tell people at shul, "Do you want to see Noam's Torah Cards?" And he'd reveal what was really between the covers, beaming wholeheartedly.

Yesterday, I realized that he hasn't touched his cards in a LONG, LONG time. His collectors portfolio sits on our front hallway bench from the last time he took it to shul to show his friends.

I made a remark: "Noam, you haven't played with your POKEMON cards in a long time."

Noam: "I know.... I can sell them on eBay."

Me: "Who told you that?!" (hiding the laughter)

Noam: "Nobody."

So maybe Noam isn't the best at trading cards, but eBay you'd better look out for this 7-year-old. I'm really curious as to what he'll want to price these cards! The sky's the limit...

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

From the Complaints Dept.

Refer please to Diagram A:

It was a lot of fun...really...

PT: Fudge! We had SO much fun in school today! Wanna hear how much fun we had?

FUDGE: Okay.

PT: Well, there were these magnets, and everybody had a different table, and every table had one writer...

FUDGE: That sounds terrific.

PT: And everybody told the writers what to write, and they wrote everybody's ideas down...except nobody wrote down my ideas because they only wanted to write down what shprintzy said...

FUDGE: Uh, the PT-

PT: And then, we were supposed to all see if the magnets could pick up the paperclips, and everybody got a turn...or at least everybody was supposed to get a turn....

FUDGE: Uh, the PT, you sound a little bitter.

PT: What is that supposed to mean?

FUDGE: You know. Mad.

PT: Well, Shprintzy DID take all the paperclips at table three, and Mindy DIDN'T let anyone else use the magnets at table one, and I wasn't a writer.

FUDGE: Did you tell the teacher?

PT (offended): No! I was having so much fun!

Didn't cut the mustard

Here's how Rivka (6) greeted me when I came home from work the other night:


Me: I think I gave you a cheese sandwich in your lunch.

Rivka: Daddy, it had mustard on it. DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE????

Sunday, January 06, 2008


The PT: Wanna see my new picture?

Me: Sure!

Me: Hmm...Rambo?
The PT: No! Rainbow!