Thursday, December 25, 2008
- Can we go to Hanukkah?
- Hanukkah isn't a place, it's a holiday. Are you saying you want to celebrate Hanukkah? <all ready to explain about the menorah>
- I wanna go to church.
- We don't celebrate Hannukah at church, that would be at a synagogue. <all ready to explain what a synagogue is>
- No, the candles at church.
- <finally getting it> You mean you want to go to the candlelight service on Christmas eve?
She must have learned about Hanukkah at school, and connected the candles in the menorah with the candles on Christmas Eve.
Monday, November 24, 2008
On Shabbos, Ben and Hen (4) were finding commonalities in everyone's clothing color, but Hen announced that since she was wearing black, she went with everyone because "black matches everything."
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
SD: Abba's a pig
ME: [about to reprimand him that we don't call people pigs, especially Abba]
SD: You're a pig, and ZB is a pig. I'm the big bad wolf. If you don't build your house strong enough, I'll blow it down.
ME: [glad I hadn't said anything]
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
"Make a 'To Do List' for a Secret Person! Fill in the steps:
1. wake up
2. get jrest
3. brush teeth
4. go to the ofinige
5. get chiltrin brecfist
Who Am I: Quintes Lincin (teacher's comment: Lincoln?) "
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Yesterday, Mordechai (8) was complaining about the lack of scheduled activites for Erev Yom Kippur.
“I’m gonna be so bored!” he said.
I pointed out that we could play, read, and eat. I also mentioned that we still had to do tashlich. Then I added, "Oh, and we have to do kapparos tomorrow!"
His response: "Yeah, but what's the point of doing kapparos…there’s no poor people in Palm Beach!"A g'mar chatimah tovah to all!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Monday, September 08, 2008
Well, I should add something, lets see. My five year old boy told me he wants to be a Narrow-surgeon. I couldn't figure out what he meant until he said, "you know, your brain?"
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
From SIL about my nephew, Ben.
Ben likes the animal-theme bathroom cups at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Cleveland.
Ben: When I'm an adult I'm going to get those animal cups -- if they're cheap.
SIL: Well, if they're so important to you, maybe you'll get them even if they're not cheap.
Ben: When I'm an adult, they're not going to be important to me.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Background: My daughter (just turned 3 yo) frequently has temper tantrums and cries and screams until she works it out or falls asleep.
Several times my wife tried to coax her out of them by saying something like "You can have a cookie if you stop crying."
My wife recently had a miscarriage. We were at the hospital for a D&C as the baby wasn't coming out on its own. Because of the timing of events, I wasn't able to get anyone to watch my daughter, so we had her with us. (I had books, crayons, etc.) Just before she had to leave the waiting area for surgery, everything really hit my wife and she started crying very hard. A passing nurse gave us some water and a popsicle. After checking to make sure the popsicle was kosher, I gave half of it to my daughter while trying to comfort my wife. (she wasn't allowed to eat or drink)
My daughter then stood up, held out the popsicle to my wife and said in a coaxing voice: "Mommy, you can have a popsicle if you stop crying!"
That got my wife and I laughing, and helped to calm her down before she left. (Thank G-d, everything went OK and my wife is doing better, physically and emotionally).
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Oldest Son (7): Are we mammals?
Oldest Son: So me and [Youngest Son] and Abba (Hebrew for Dad) and you are all mammals?
Me: Yes. All human beings are mammals.
Oldest Son: Even Christians?
Friday, June 06, 2008
Jenny said she has powers. She said she can make weather. But I said, "No, God makes the weather!" And she said witches are real. But I said, "No, they aren't. God is real!"
My efforts are not in vain!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Pattern Classification with the Raggedys:
Andy (2 1/2) was sorting his sister's shirts.
He came to one shirt, and proclaimed it "Polka Dot!"
The next shirt was solid, and he held it up, smiled, and said, "No-ka dot!"
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
ZB (5) was learning letter 'S' last week and the teacher expanded on the the letter by teaching the kids about spiders.
ZB: Ema, I learned about arachnitz (ches sound) today.
ME: What's that?
ZB: spiders are arachnitz not insects
ME: Do you mean arachnids?
Monday, April 07, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Imma: "What should we do when little boys cut up things that aren't theirs, Elmo?"
Elmo: "Tell Izzy to put duck tape on it?"
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
My 2nd grade students were hanging out near my desk during recess complaining about the unfairness of being young because the 6th grade was having a grand Bas Mitzvah Brunch and they're even having a chocolate fountain and blah blah blah.
One kid says, "Uch, it's going to be like forever til were in sixth grade. Six- no wait, um... 4 years!"
A second delicious kid turns to me and says,
"Yeah, Moshiach's already going to be here when we're in 6th grade!"
(I responded, "Don't worry, we'll make a grand Bas Mitzvah Brunch in Eretz Yisrael for you..."
but...!!!! Halevay we would all think like that....!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
"Sive" KJ said, "I'm going to be old"
I said, "Five isn't old sweetie."
He looked at me and seriously asked, "It isn't?" He already feels old. ;)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Some weeks ago, I thought I was hearing things. "Eema, shan I finish my homework now?" "Abba, shan I give Max his supper?"
When I first asked, "What did you say, Noam?" he repeated it again. And again. And again.
It began to grow on us, even though it's absolutely wrong. I don't correct him too much on it anymore simply because I like to hear him use the word.
"Shan": another word for "should"; derived from "shall" and "can".
Oy, thanks for the vote of encouragement! (and I pointed out that all 4 of her grandparents were older than me, and they were all still very much alive, ptu, ptu, ptu [sorry, too much Treppenwitz])
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Yes, we bought him cards...to a limit. We bought him a collector tin and special cards that went with it.
These cards were traded back and forth between friends, but my kid (not always so wise) would even trade some of his new, crisp cards for dog-eared, weathered-looking other cards. We tried to teach him how to do a wise trade, but he's his own man.
Perhaps shul isn't the place for the POKEMON cards, so what did the kid do? He put his cards in a Torah Cards collectors portfolio. We would tell people at shul, "Do you want to see Noam's Torah Cards?" And he'd reveal what was really between the covers, beaming wholeheartedly.
Yesterday, I realized that he hasn't touched his cards in a LONG, LONG time. His collectors portfolio sits on our front hallway bench from the last time he took it to shul to show his friends.
I made a remark: "Noam, you haven't played with your POKEMON cards in a long time."
Noam: "I know.... I can sell them on eBay."
Me: "Who told you that?!" (hiding the laughter)
So maybe Noam isn't the best at trading cards, but eBay you'd better look out for this 7-year-old. I'm really curious as to what he'll want to price these cards! The sky's the limit...
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
PT: Well, there were these magnets, and everybody had a different table, and every table had one writer...
FUDGE: That sounds terrific.
PT: And everybody told the writers what to write, and they wrote everybody's ideas down...except nobody wrote down my ideas because they only wanted to write down what shprintzy said...
FUDGE: Uh, the PT-
PT: And then, we were supposed to all see if the magnets could pick up the paperclips, and everybody got a turn...or at least everybody was supposed to get a turn....
FUDGE: Uh, the PT, you sound a little bitter.
PT: What is that supposed to mean?
FUDGE: You know. Mad.
PT: Well, Shprintzy DID take all the paperclips at table three, and Mindy DIDN'T let anyone else use the magnets at table one, and I wasn't a writer.
FUDGE: Did you tell the teacher?
PT (offended): No! I was having so much fun!
Rivka: WHY DID YOU GIVE ME A MUSTARD SANDWICH?
Me: I think I gave you a cheese sandwich in your lunch.
Rivka: Daddy, it had mustard on it. DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE????