That's What I Said!

Today was my turn in the family share plan of a recent 48-hour sore-throat virus, and I was desperate for something to drink. I spotted a Taco Bell up ahead and, not wanting Oldest Son (5) or Youngest Son (3) to start begging for food, said to Husby, "Can we please stop at TB for a drink?"

"Sure," said Husby.

"TB? What's TB?" said Oldest Son.

"It's where we're going to get Eema [Hebrew for "mom"] a drink," said Husby.

"TV?" asked Youngest Son.

"No. TB!" said Oldest Son.

"TV?" Youngest Son repeated.

"No! T-BEEE! It has a bee on the end," said Oldest Son.

"That's what I said," said Youngest Son.

"No, you said TV. It's not TV. It's TB," said Oldest Son.

"TV?"

"No! TB!"

"That's what I said!" said Youngest Son.

"No, you said TV. But it's TB!" said Oldest Son.

"TV?"

For the record, children can keep this up for much longer than parents think they can. And also, laughing while drinking Pepsi isn't a good idea when one has a sore throat.

Cockle Shells?

We watched a commercial with some people at the beach and Kaiser (3) said, "I want to go to the Beeeeesh." Since we live close, off we went to the beeeeesh.
-----------------------------
Kaiser: Momma, what is this?
Wickwire: That's a cockle shell
Kaiser: Oh, a taco shell.
Wickwire: NO it's a COCKle shell
Kaiser: Look momma, more TACO shells!

She's got a point...

As the PT will be turning 5 soon and has been riding her bike more, I took the opportunity to caution her about talking to strangers.

"Remember, we don't talk to strangers. If a stranger comes up to you, and offers you candy or a toy and wants you to go with them, you say, 'No!' "

"Uhhh...well that would still be talking."

Doesn't translate

I have some neighbors who speak Spanish at home. The 5-year-old didn't learn English until he went to kindergarten, which seems like a hardship, but is actually very good because he'll be fluently bilingual without having to study for years. Anyway, sometimes his 2-year-old brother is whining and I can't figure out what's wrong. So I ask, "Jose, what's wrong with Pedro?" "I don't know." "Well, ask him what's wrong." "Pedro, what's wrong?" Um, try Spanish! Silly kid. And whenever I ask him how to say something, he grins and claims not to know.

"S" Marks the Spot

My youngest child has some trouble with the "s" sound, so a few sessions of speech therapy were in order this school year. And of course, homework was involved, and I was usually the homework buddy.

We did one of the exercises this evening; a chart with pictures was given and my child was supposed to tell me about the pictures, or repeat the phrases I said about them...phrases that were provided as part of the exercise. But one of the exercises involves the child elaborate on the given phrase.The phrase was: ThiS iS the biggeSt Star. My son had to repeat that phrase and elaborate on it.

He said: "This is the biggest star...so that Hashem can hug it!"

*smile*

Nursery grammar and arithmetic

Sari's nursery was visited by mice today. In a cage, thankfully. It was part of a lovely program they're having where every week Adina brings another animal to talk about. Last week was the guinea pig. So Sari was telling me all about today's visit. An excerpt:

Sari: We had a mouse today in school. Adina said it don't bite so don't worry.

Me: Oh, that's good. What color was it?

Sari: They were white.

Me: They? Was there more than one mouse?

Sari: Yes, three.

Me (seizing the teachable moment): Mmhm, three mice.

Sari (patiently demonstrating the math concept with her fingers, and simultaneously attempting to explain the irregular plural form of mouse): No, no. You say two mice, one mouse - so that's three mouses!

Update: That weekend, I read the newsletter sent home to the parents that describes the weeks events. Turns out there were only two mice! She thought there were three because....two mice, one mouse!

Yoda She Is

Observation while riding her bike around the block:

The PT: Someone needs to lawn that mow.

One Big Kiss and Three Little Hugs

This is from my 4 yr old cuddly bear, Noah for Mother's Day.

I love the last line..."Mommy acts out as a monster, and she makes me laugh." Isn't that what it's all about?

Lately Heard 'Round Our House

Child # 3, a six-year-old boy, has lately been trying out his authoritative voice on me, declaring:

1. "You know the rule: I'm nice to you. You have to be nice to me!"

2. "Aba is older than you. We listen to Aba."

3. "You're not the boss of us. Aba is the boss of us."


Okay, youngest child of mine. I'll be sure to remember that when you come cryin' to tell me that Aba didn't let you do/have something that you wanted. Even "I'm nice to you. You have to be nice to me!" doesn't always work on Abbas!

Geometric candy?

Mordechai: I'm a sweet star.

Me: Huh? What does that mean?

Mordechai: Or maybe a sweet square.

Me: I'm confused.

Mordechai: Well, why should we always be "sweetheart"?

Straight from the heart

Sari: Happy Mother's Day! (Nu, so she's a few days early.)

Me: Oh, thank you, sweetie. (giving kisses)

Sari (leaning over and lowering her voice to confide): My morah told me to say that.

My Daughter, the Doctor

The PT (age 4): Oooo....Abbbaaaaa.....my pinkie hurts.

The PT: It hurts when I move it like this.

The PT: Maybe I should stop moving it like this.

Drug culture

Rivka (4.5): Dad, why can't we have stairs?

Me: We only have one floor.

Rivka: But me and Chana want an upstairs! Or a bunk bed.

Me: Why?

Rivka: We want to be high.

Not Five. THREE

When we had a young couple at my house the other day, Kaiser came in and sat on my lap. The young lady asked, "How old are you?" and Kaiser said, "Five" He is three.

Mommy, why is ???

Ok, so as some of you know my daughter has created her own science website (time for a shameless plug - http://sciencewonders4kids.blogspot.com/). Well, recently she asked me a rather, ahem, personal question about the female body, and though I gave her a generic answer, I made the mistake of then following it with, "but I really don't know, that's a great question."

BIG MISTAKE. Why, may you ask? Because now she wants to post the question on her science blog. She was so cute when justifying her reason for wanting to post it on her website. "See, ____ is part of the body, and the body is science and we don't know the answer, but maybe someone does, and so like, I think I should ask the question on my blog."

Well, it really is a very personal question, but let's just say it has to do with, Ummm, a female body part, and something that almost all mammals have in common.

Man, it never fails to surprise me the observations they make and the questions they ask.

Does It Come Gift-Wrapped, Too?

My husband and the children ran into someone we know, and my husband told her that I was no longer working for my company. She asked if I'd received "a package" -- if I was happy with it, if the terms were decent, etc. (she's a lawyer and asked the right questions.) My oldest son overheard some of the conversation and had comments and questions for his dad.

He asked my huband how much I'd been offered. He didn't want to tell him and my son asked again, so my husband told him some rounded-off number, close to what the package was. Of course my son doesn't know from severence packages and settlements, but he does know numbers!

When my husband told him the amount, my son asked, "Did it come in a box?"

(you get it? package-box)

Scenes from a Villa

Yesterday we paid a visit to the recently re-opened Getty Villa, which houses Roman antiquities on fabulously landscaped grounds.

Chana, 6.5, studied a statue of Herakles , which has lost, um, a key bit of male anatomy. After a while, she said, "I think he might be missing something."

Rivka, 4.5, took one look at an ancient calendar that was a perfectly aligned grid of greek characters and exclaimed, "A word find!"

Sfirafied

Driving in the car with Iguana (age 9):

Iguana: So....what can we listen to? Do you have anything that's sfirafied?

Me: ...sphere-o-fied?

Iguana: Yeah, sfirafied. You know. What's it called when you have singing but no music?

Me: You mean a capella?

Iguana: Huh?

Me: Sfirafied...did you make up that word?

Iguana: (laughing) Yeah!

Me: Good one.

Venn Master

Rivka, 4 1/2, is running towards me holding a piece of paper.

"Daddy, I made you a Venn diagram."

That's weird. Sounds like she said "Venn diagram," of all things.

"A what, Honey?"

"A Venn diagram. It's matzah and challah."

And indeed it is:

The exclusive Matzah section (left "circle") is passover, obviously. The shared area is "all other nights." I don't know what the exclusive Challah section (right), unless it's just our default mode. She can't quite explain it.

Cross-posted at Kerckhoff Coffeehouse

I am in TROUBLE when she is a teenager!

We just returned from a trip to Detroit to meet my newborn nephew, Abraham. My 4-yr. old daughter Olivia went to play at her best friend's house today and I just got this email from her best friend's mother:

Stacey,

We enjoyed having Olivia over today. So she was telling my daughter about baby Abraham and she said that he's a boy and he has a penis. And my daughter was like, "Oh, Olivia said penis."

So I told the girls, "Okay, we've established that Abraham has a penis. He's a boy. That's a fact of life. So let's not talk about it anymore."

And so Olivia leans over to my daughter and says, "And it's cute, too."

I had to leave the room. I was losing it.

-Kathy