Girl Cheese

Not my son but my dear friends four year old, Grayson, asked his mom, "What's for lunch?" she told him "Grilled cheese sandwiches" he got angry and said, "NO I don't want GIRL cheese sandwiches mom, I want BOY cheese!"

Mordechai's rebbe met up with Dovid today in yeshiva and told over the following conversation he had had today with Mordechai (just turned 7!):

Mordechai: Is it okay to ask a rebbe when his birthday is?

Rebbe: The Torah doesn't say you can't but it's not so nice to ask older people because it's considered a private question.

Rebbe: Why? Does it make a difference?

Mordechai: Not really. I just wanted to know your birthday so I could tell my mother to bake a cake.

Five Year Old Semantics

Background: my chiropractor offers treats to kids with their parents' permission.

Oldest Son - age 5 at the time (as we're driving to the chiropractor): Eema, can I have a treat from the chiropractor?

Me: If they offer, then it's okay with me. But please don't pester them for a treat.

Oldest Son: So I shouldn't ask? I should wait until they offer?

Me (as we arrive at chiropractor's office): Yes.

After we entered the office, I signed in and Oldest Son marched up to the front desk.

Oldest Son: Excuse me please. I'd really like to have a treat, but my eema said I shouldn't ask for one. So if you'd like to offer one, I can say yes.

Chiropractor staff (laughing): Oh! Would you like a treat?

Oldest Son: Yes, please. Thank you.

Chiropractor staff: Should we ask your mom if it's okay with her?

Oldest Son: No, she already said I could have one. Just that I couldn't ask for it.

My Wife's Name

KJ (4) still likes to pretend knock on the door, when I say come in he pretends to open the door then will run to me excited saying, "HI MOMMA" Yes he's still at it. This last time I asked him how his wife and kids were. This time he said, "I got a new wife." I asked what his new wifes name was he said, "My wife's name is goofball." Now THAT'S a name I taught him unfortunately.

(test post)

Butterfly names

from Sweetie, 7:

- What should I name my butterfly?
- It's made of paper. You're gonna name it?
- Yeah.
- Okay, what do you wanna name it?
- Well, my [deceased] bird was named Buddy.
- You wanna name it Buddy?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- ... She doesn't like that name.
- <raised eyebrow> The butterfly doesn't like it?
- No.
- So what are you gonna name her then?
- Hmm... she likes water.
- You're gonna name her water?
- Yeah.
- Ohhh-kay.

Hawaiian noises

Last night Rivka (5) started to change into her pajamas but stopped after removing her shirt.

Me: What are you doing?

Rivka: Getting ready to do the hula (starts wiggling her hips around)

Me: Oy.

Rivka: You can't do the hula with your shirt on.

Me: Are you crazy? What are you talking about?

Rivka: No. You can only wear a necklace.

The Wisdom of Children

Olivia: Mommy, I know why they call it a "penis."

Me: Oh?

Olivia: Because pee comes out of it.

OY!

Holy Men

Yesterday Rivka, 5, saw a Sikh wearing a turban (as they are wont to do). When Mrs. R. picked her up from school, Rivka said, "Mommy, I think I saw the Kohen Gadol today."

DA!

This isn't funny like all the rest of the posts on this blog are, but it sure made us smile.

Elianna (10.5 months), to me:

"DA!"

Cop-out

(Beloved is my husband. Sweetie is 7.)

Me, to Beloved: We should go to that karaoke club sometime; it would be fun.
Sweetie: Yeah, it would be fun.
Me: You wouldn't be going anyway until you're older.
Sweetie: Yeah I would!
Me: You don't even know what karaoke means.
Sweetie: Yes I do.
Me: Okay, what does it mean?
Sweetie: I don't wanna tell you right now 'cause my throat hurts.