Bathroom Door Humor

Oldest Son (almost 7) and Youngest Son (4-1/2) have lately taken the concept of privacy to heart. It coincided with being separated into their own rooms (temperament needs) and they love knocking on each other's doors and asking if they can come in.

But this one caught me off guard:

Oldest Son (running upstairs): I have to go potty!

Youngest Son (running after him): Me too!

OS: I get it first!

YS: I get it second!

OS: Okay (closes bathroom door)

YS knocks on bathroom door.

OS: Who is it?

YS (after a long pause): Who do you think it is?

Of Course, Some Do Go Both Ways

Abba: Are you an innie or an outie?

The PT (6): I'm a rightie.

What's In There?

My niece Dassi (5) is quite the blunt one.

D: What do you have in there?
Ez: Huh?
D: What's in your tummy? Is there something in there? It's kind of fat. Why is your tummy so fat?

Zero Years Old

Driving carpool is always a surefire way to hear some preschool pearls of wisdom.

Our neighbor's son, S was talking to my daughter Ann (both 4).

S: The last time (another boy) was at my house for a playdate, my brother N was zero years old.

Ann (while wrinkling nose): What's zero?

S (shrugs): I'm not sure, but it means that you don't have any teeth yet.

Let Them Eat Steak

When Kids Sing

From Youngest Son (4-1/2), singing happily on the way home from school:

"Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool,
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
One for the master, one for the dame,
One for the little boy who lives down the drain..."

Concept of a new baby

Hi, Psychotoddler gave me posting privilidges a while ago, but I got swamped with work and a class. But I want to at least start. I have two daughters, Tikvah and Ahava (now 4 and 2).

When my wife was pregnant with Ahava, and Tikvah was about 17 months old, we kept trying to get her to understand that a new baby was on the way. We'd have her rub mom's belly and would say "Baby... there's a baby in there!" Then one day I was laying on the floor, on my back, playing with Tikvah. She came over, rubbed my belly, and proudly declared, "BABY!!"

Oops, I need to cut back on the desserts!!

About the Author

Concentration

My niece, A (3) was walking last week with my sister-in-law L. They passed by a house with an ornate Nativity scene, complete with large figurines hunched seriously over the baby.

A turned to her mother and said, "Look how hard they are davening (praying)at that bris! They sure have a lot of kavanah (intention, concentration)!"

This Just In..

We had a Chanuka party, complete with relatives, yummy food, and presents.
YB, age 4, got a little confused between the relatives and the guests...
Instead of asking Uncle Zalmy for some lasagna, he asked for some "Unclezanya!"
(Apparently, he's actually been calling it that since last Chanuka...)

Wonderful

From my SIL: Ben (5) and Hen (3) were standing on a stool watching me make latkes last night. The stool is a about a foot and a quarter wide, so it was challenging for both of them to stand comfortably. (Ben suggested that we either get another stool or skinnier feet.)

Ben:

Hen, could you tell your yetzer hara to stop pushing me!

And from Elianna (20 mo.)'s first extended sentence, a couple weeks back, as I walked toward the bathroom, to Serach:

"DaDa PP go!"

when chumash class hits home...

oh gosh. my 2nd graders have more hashkafa in their lives than i do...

NT: My Bubby used to live in Florida, but there were hurricanes, so she moved to Israel, but now there are earthquakes there.

Maybe Hashem is giving her Nisyonos (tests) like He gave Avram!

Prince

SD (almost 3) has a new therapist working with him. She sometimes, affectionately calls him Prince or Handsome. She told me today that when she called him Prince, SD objected. He said she couldn't call him Prince, but she could call him Handsome!

Ben & Hen

From my SIL about her two oldest:

On Friday night we were doing Ben's (5) Parsha questions. OD said, "It's great that you remember so much about the parsha!" Ben replied, "Yeah- I have a stupid-pendous brain."

On Shabbos morning, Hen (3) asked me "Is it still Shabbos?" (I think she wanted to do something 'very muktza') I told her it was. She said, "But not so Shabbos, right?"

Bedtime

We had a babysitter watch the boys last night while Aba and I went out. I told the boys in advance. ZB (4 1/2) told me to tell the babysitter that his bedtime was 10:00. When I told him I wouldn't and that I don't want him up that late, he told me not to tell her when his bedtime was and he would tell her it was 10:00.

Passing Notes

The PT (age 6) is eating lunch. She puts a spoonful of food in her mouth. Suddenly, she arches her eyebrows and emits a whining tone, but doesn't swallow her food. She runs off to the other room and returns with a note:

I swa
loed a hole
Nootal!

Didn't Come From the Baby Store

SD (2 1/2) was acting silly. Jokingly, I asked him where he came from. His response-"The big brother store!"

PT Imagery: Jraffs

Mrs. B and I went to parent/teacher conferences this week and received mostly wonderful reports about all the kids, pfu pfu pfu. We expected to hear...interesting things about The PT, who, if you've been paying attention to all the franchised blogs, is a bit...different.

And of course, we did. She is her own inimitable self and will bow to the will of the masses only slowly and at her own pace. We are not worried about her and do not plan to assign any DSM-4 criteria to her.

One interesting thing we saw last night was an assignment she did for her first grade writing journal. Now, I have done homework with her and watched her write out sentences, and I assure you that this is a grueling experience. The PT doesn't do anything quickly, and writing four lines can easily be a 30 minute affair. I was quite shocked to see this, though (I'm sorry I don't have the original to scan):

JRAFFS (written backwards, of course)

JRaFFs R tol Bcuz
ther long neks.
JRaffS hav brn spts lic
choklet chps in ice crem

Translation:

Giraffes are tall because (of)
their long necks
Giraffes have brown spots like
chocolate chips in ice cream

Even the teacher was surprised by her use of imagery. I'm just shocked she could keep a train of thought going for so long.

when i grow up...

Today one of my 2nd grade students was helping sweep up after some girls made a mess with playdough during recess. One teacher said to her, "E, you clean up so well. Are you going to become a babysitter when you grow up?" To which E responded,

"No, I wasn't born Spanish."

**My apologies to any Spanish speaking people reading this. Apparently, this student's mother owns an agency which sends out cleaning ladies to people, and apparently, they're all Spanish. Please do not be offended!

Scary Tree

via my sister-in-law: We were walking on Sunday and passed a tree with a gate around its trunk (only in NY!). Hen (3) explained,

"They thought the tree was a monster."