Bedtime

We had a babysitter watch the boys last night while Aba and I went out. I told the boys in advance. ZB (4 1/2) told me to tell the babysitter that his bedtime was 10:00. When I told him I wouldn't and that I don't want him up that late, he told me not to tell her when his bedtime was and he would tell her it was 10:00.

Passing Notes

The PT (age 6) is eating lunch. She puts a spoonful of food in her mouth. Suddenly, she arches her eyebrows and emits a whining tone, but doesn't swallow her food. She runs off to the other room and returns with a note:

I swa
loed a hole
Nootal!

Didn't Come From the Baby Store

SD (2 1/2) was acting silly. Jokingly, I asked him where he came from. His response-"The big brother store!"

PT Imagery: Jraffs

Mrs. B and I went to parent/teacher conferences this week and received mostly wonderful reports about all the kids, pfu pfu pfu. We expected to hear...interesting things about The PT, who, if you've been paying attention to all the franchised blogs, is a bit...different.

And of course, we did. She is her own inimitable self and will bow to the will of the masses only slowly and at her own pace. We are not worried about her and do not plan to assign any DSM-4 criteria to her.

One interesting thing we saw last night was an assignment she did for her first grade writing journal. Now, I have done homework with her and watched her write out sentences, and I assure you that this is a grueling experience. The PT doesn't do anything quickly, and writing four lines can easily be a 30 minute affair. I was quite shocked to see this, though (I'm sorry I don't have the original to scan):

JRAFFS (written backwards, of course)

JRaFFs R tol Bcuz
ther long neks.
JRaffS hav brn spts lic
choklet chps in ice crem

Translation:

Giraffes are tall because (of)
their long necks
Giraffes have brown spots like
chocolate chips in ice cream

Even the teacher was surprised by her use of imagery. I'm just shocked she could keep a train of thought going for so long.

when i grow up...

Today one of my 2nd grade students was helping sweep up after some girls made a mess with playdough during recess. One teacher said to her, "E, you clean up so well. Are you going to become a babysitter when you grow up?" To which E responded,

"No, I wasn't born Spanish."

**My apologies to any Spanish speaking people reading this. Apparently, this student's mother owns an agency which sends out cleaning ladies to people, and apparently, they're all Spanish. Please do not be offended!

Scary Tree

via my sister-in-law: We were walking on Sunday and passed a tree with a gate around its trunk (only in NY!). Hen (3) explained,

"They thought the tree was a monster."

it's about time...

the bandwagon has finally picked me up.

so, so many stories; i shall only write the favorites for now.

STORY 1: my friend Aliza called her siblings to say hi.

Gavriel (8) - Yochevy called you to tell you something so funny but I'm going to say it for her.

Yochevy (6) - No! I want to tell her!

G - Ok, I'll just give you a little hint. Yochevy accidentally called the circus before!

Aliza- What? How?

Y- Well, I was trying to call Moshie but the lady on the phone said, "We're sorry, all circuses are busy!"

STORY 2: My friend's nephew visits.

Yisrael (4) (points at floor) - wemember when i sweeped here?

Me - Oh yeah? You swept here with a broom?

Yisrael - No... with a bed.

STORY 3: My 2nd grade student, who has a language delay and frequently mixes up words, comes over to me:

Y: Morah, my stomach is drizzling!

Me: Um, like the rain?

Y: No... like it's kind of making noises (moves hands in circles to illustrate)

Me: Um... grumbling?

Y: **puzzled look** Uh, yeah that.

Advance Planning

Me (rummaging through Ann's lunchbag after preschool): Why didn't you eat any of the melon I cut up for your snack?

Ann (4): I just didn't want to have a stummyache.

Me: Melon gives you a stomache ache?

Ann: No, but if I ate it all, I would have a stummyache for the cupcake from (boy in class)'s birthday party!

Best part

This isn't necessarily cute or funny, but it says a lot about who our oldest, Chana (8), is, and I want to remember it. Last week Chana started attending Bnei Akiva, a Zionist youth group that meets periodically on Shabbat for singing, praying, and playing. She had a great time and can't wait for the next meeting. My wife asked her about it afterwards:

Mrs. R: What was your favorite part?

Chana: Mincha.

My Fat Brother

Note: My brother OD weighs barely half what I do. He's also 5 inches shorter. I like to call him my little brother (he's turning 33 soon). Anyway, here's what his daughter Hen (just turning 3) had to say to my sister-in-law SIL:

Hen: [Shen] came out of your tummy right?
SIL: Yes.
Hen: And also [Ben] and me?
SIL: Yup.
Hen: But not Daddy cuz he doesn't fit.

Nice. Meanwhile, here's what Ben had to say after his first day of school:

Ben made a good friend in school already BH. He told me: _______ is my best friend. He became my friend so quickly. (Sighs and touches his heart) I have so much love for him in my heart. This is what happened. My heart went out of my chest, went into _______'s chest and came back into my chest.

Thanks for the Compliment!

My parents were coming over to visit, and to take the "bigger kids" out to the playground. From the way, they called to say that they wanted to change plans and take the kids to the beach instead (more time for me to rest with the baby!).

As I raced around packing different gear, changing clothes, and applying sunscreen, Ann (4) remarked, "You're very responsible, Mom!" [Since when did I become 'Mom'?!]

"Thanks, Ann."

"You're welcome, Mom."

Five minutes later:

Ann: "What does responsible mean, anyway?"

Third Eye

My brother bought KJ a little ball that looks like an eyeball. I put it to my forehead and said, "Look, my third eye" KJ thought that was funny. Today he was climbing the shelf, I asked him, "what are you doing?" He was reaching for something saying, "I want my third eye."

Since there is a police officer spending time talking to him, he has been wearing his belt and toy gun requesting that I call him "Police officer"

not good

me: i'm not feeling so good today.

the pt: neither is the fish, and he's dead.

All the Rage

The PT (age 6): Behold, Curly! I feel the rage to jump on you!

Curly (13): Huh?

The PT: YAAAAAAAH!

Curly: AHHHHH!

---

The PT: I feel the rage for some pancakes. Fudge, can you give me some pancakes?

Fudge: ?

---

The PT: I have the rage to sit on the blue chair.

---

The PT: I have the rage for some milk.

Iguana: Uhhh...you want milk?

---

The PT: Uh...HELLO?? Whoever's in the bathroom?? I feel the rage to use the bathrooooooom!!

Wildlife

I'm going back in time here to something that made me smile about a year and a half ago when Andy was a couple of months old and I started bathing him on the bath sling with Ann next to him in the big bath.

Ann (a little more than 2 and a half at the time): Is the new baby a zoo animal or a farm animal?

Me: What? Your brother is not an animal at all. (Yet . . .)

Ann: But I think he's like a pet.

Me: Why?

Ann: Because look, he has a little tail!



Don't hate me one day for sharing this one, kids!

Courtship

Chana (8): Daddy, do I have to wait til I'm married to date?

Me: You have to date before you get married.

Chana: Well Sharon's mother said that she can't date until she's done with college and married.

Me: I think Sharon's mom was just joking.

Chana: Oh. (beat) Perhaps in college I'll find a boy I can admire.

Tipping His Hand

This may be the best story ever...

Ben (4) to his mother (Imma): I don't like getting angry because then I get punished. Well, only if Daddy's taking care of me. He'll put me in time out or something. If it's you then you'll tell me to act nicely next time. But if you're not home or in the bathroom or sleeping, I'll get punished.

Imma: So you think you can act angry when I'm taking care of you because I'm not going to punish you?

Ben (realizing he just tipped his hand): Don't worry, Imma. I'll forget that I said that. I love you Imma! I won't forget that I said that!

Wrong foot

Ada (2 1/2) is all too familiar with the experience of trying to put her shoe on the wrong foot. She usually figures it out when she realizes she is having way too much trouble than would normally be expected from a harmless velcro shoe. The other day she was trying to put on her sock by herself and the sock just didn't seem to want to cooperate. She turned to me in frustration and asked, "It's the wrong foot?"

Thing 3, Goats, & Cottage Cheese

Wanna Saab's Thing 3 (also known as my niece) explains the making of cottage cheese.

Thank You Susan

The neighbor boy came over to play with KJ (4 y/o) they were laying train tracks and KJ said, "Mom help me, it's stuck" so I got down there and fixed it. Neighbor boy says, "Thank you" then KJ said, "Thank you, thank you Susan." (my real name) It just took me by surprise, that's the first time he's ever done that. Then he said, "Oh am I supposed to call you mom?" All three of us laughed.